System: Game Boy
Release date: March 1998
Strap in for a greedy treasure hunt with Wario Land II on the Game Boy, the 1998 platformer that turned Mario’s rival into a proper star. This quirky 8-bit romp trades coins for chaos, but does it still shine in 2025? Let’s smash some blocks and see if Wario’s second outing is a retro gem or a rusty relic.
Gameplay: Wario’s Smash-and-Grab Glory
Wario Land II ditches lives and game overs for a wild twist: Wario’s practically invincible. Instead of dying, our chubby anti-hero gets knocked back or transformed by enemies—think fat Wario or zombie Wario—adding a daft spin to platforming. You’ll bash through levels, nab treasures, and hunt for secret exits across a sprawling, non-linear map. The Game Boy’s D-pad and A/B buttons feel spot-on for Wario’s shoulder charges and ground pounds. It’s less about precision and more about causing a ruckus, which suits Wario’s vibe perfectly.
The catch? Some puzzles can be a bit cryptic, and backtracking for 100% completion might test your patience. Still, the variety of levels—from pirate ships to haunted castles—keeps you hooked like a shiny coin in Wario’s grubby mitts. It’s a fresh take on platforming that feels bold even today.
Graphics: Chunky, Cheeky Charm
The Game Boy’s monochrome screen doesn’t hold Wario back. His big-nosed sprite is packed with personality, from his smug grin to his waddling run. Levels burst with detail—crumbling ruins, spooky forests—and enemies like spear-tossing pirates or goofy ghosts steal the show. Animations for Wario’s transformations are a proper laugh, making every hit a visual treat. It’s not Game Boy Color fancy, but it squeezes every pixel for maximum charm.
Sound: Tunes as Brash as Wario Himself
The soundtrack’s a cheeky banger, matching Wario’s greedy swagger with catchy chiptunes. Each stage has a distinct vibe, from jaunty pirate shanties to eerie castle melodies. Sound effects—Wario’s grunts, coin clinks, and enemy squawks—are punchy and memorable. The Game Boy’s tinny speakers deliver just enough attitude to keep you bopping along, though you might wish for a bit more variety by the end.
Replayability: A Treasure Trove of Secrets
With multiple endings, hidden treasures, and secret levels, Wario Land II begs for replays. Hunting every coin and unlocking the full map is a proper challenge, and the branching paths keep things fresh. It’s perfect for quick sessions or obsessive treasure hunts, though the lack of a traditional “lose condition” might feel too forgiving for some. You’ll keep coming back to snag that last shiny bauble.
The Retro Looney Verdict
Wario Land II is like Wario himself: loud, brash, and impossible to ignore. Its bold twist on platforming, charming visuals, and cheeky tunes make it a standout on the Game Boy. The odd obtuse puzzle or repetitive trek can’t dim its shine. Whether you’re dusting off your old handheld or sneaking an emulator, this is a treasure worth grabbing.
