System: Game Boy
Release date: September 1990
Oi, retro gamers! Strap in for a proper nostalgic bash with Tetris on the Game Boy, the 1989 block-stacking legend that’s still got us humming that catchy tune. This isn’t just a game—it’s a time capsule of pure, pixelated joy. But does it hold up in 2025? Let’s dive into this 8-bit gem and find out if it’s still a banger or just a dusty relic.
Gameplay: Simple, Addictive, Timeless
Tetris is as straightforward as a brick to the noggin: falling blocks (tetrominoes, if you’re feeling fancy) need to be rotated and slotted into place to clear lines. Fill a row, it vanishes. Stack too high, and it’s game over. Sounds basic? That’s the magic. The Game Boy’s dinky screen and two-button setup make every move feel snappy and precise. Whether you’re chasing a high score in Mode A or battling the clock in Mode B, the gameplay hooks you like a retro earworm. It’s the kind of addictive that has you muttering, “Just one more go,” at 3 a.m.
The controls are tighter than a pixelated barrel, with the D-pad and A/B buttons doing all the heavy lifting. Sure, there’s no fancy touch-screen nonsense or online leaderboards, but that’s the charm—this is raw, unfiltered gaming. The only downside? Once the blocks start falling faster, your palms will sweat buckets. Don’t blame us if you’re seeing L-shapes in your dreams.
Graphics: Charming in Its Simplicity
Let’s be real—the Game Boy’s screen is about as vibrant as a soggy biscuit. But Tetris doesn’t need flash. Its monochrome blocks and bare-bones interface are clean and functional, letting you focus on the chaos of stacking. The tetrominoes pop against that pea-soup green screen, and the little rocket animation when you hit a high score? Pure retro bliss. It’s not Zelda, but it’s not trying to be. Tetris knows its lane and sticks to it like a stubborn I-block.
Sound: That Tune, Though!
If you don’t hum the Tetris theme (Type A, you know the one) while playing, are you even human? That Russian folk banger, “Korobeiniki,” is the star of the show, looping endlessly without ever getting old. The Game Boy’s tinny speakers churn out three iconic tracks, with Type B’s intense vibe perfect for high-speed panic. The sound effects—beeps for rotating, thuds for landing—are spot-on. It’s a masterclass in doing a lot with a little.
Replayability: Forever and a Day
Tetris doesn’t have a story or unlockables, and it doesn’t need ‘em. The drive to beat your mate’s high score or survive one more level is enough to keep you glued to that brick of a console. It’s the ultimate pick-up-and-play title—perfect for a quick sesh or a marathon that leaves your thumbs numb. The only limit is your battery supply (or your mum yelling at you to turn it off).
The Retro Looney Verdict
Tetris on the Game Boy is like a perfect chippy tea: simple, satisfying, and always hits the spot. It’s not just a game; it’s a cultural icon that turned a clunky handheld into a must-have. The addictive gameplay, earworm tunes, and no-nonsense vibe make it a classic that still shines in 2025. Sure, it lacks the bells and whistles of modern games, but that’s like moaning a retro arcade cabinet doesn’t have Wi-Fi. If you’ve got a Game Boy (or an emulator, you cheeky sod), this is a must-play.
