Excitebike

System: Nintendo Entertainment System
Release date: September 1986

Rev your engines for a muddy motorsport mayhem with Excitebike on the NES, the September 1986 Nintendo nail-biter that slings you into 16-track tussles, jumping ramps and dodging rivals like a two-wheeled tornado. This racer’s got simple thrills and track-editing tricks—but does it still skid into glory in 2025? Let’s throttle the D-pad, boot up the NES, and see if this bike bash is a burnout belter or a busted brake.

Gameplay: Jump, Lean, and Lap Like a Mud-Splattered Maniac

Excitebike hurtles you onto the handlebars for selection-style sprints across bumpy circuits, leaning into turns, turbo-boosting over whoops, and crashing spectacularly if you cock it up. The controls are a corker—D-pad for steering and A/B for accel/brake—that make every ramp a risk-reward rush, with rivals eating your dust or bumping you off-course. Craft your own tracks with the editor for endless ego boosts, or time-trial solo for that personal podium. It’s arcade adrenaline in a compact cartridge, pure and petrol-powered.

The wipeout woe? Crashes crumple your comeback quicker than a cheap chain, and the lack of rubber-banding means frontrunners pull away like pros on steroids—frustrating for tail-end Toms. No saves for your custom circuits means rebuilding from scratch, and those turbo timeouts? A right royal rinse on tight tracks. Still, the jumpy joy and rival rivalries keep you gripping like a glove on a greasy throttle.

Graphics: Pixelated Tracks That Tear Up the Turf

Excitebike looks a lively lark on the NES, with scrolling circuits that churn up dirt clouds and ramp shadows in crisp, colourful chaos—think lush greens fading to finish-line flags that fly with frantic flair. Bike sprites flip and flop in ragdoll realism, while crowds cheer in chunky pixel packs. It’s no graphical grand prix, but the speedy sprites and terrain twists make every lap a visual victory lap.

Sound: Engine Roars and Ramp Whirs That Rev the Retro

Beep-bop wise, it’s a basic but banging barrage of revving rumbles and jump jingles, with a looping race riff that pumps the pulse without pounding your ears—think urgent urgency that eggs you on like a pit crew yell. Sound effects deliver the dirt: turbo whooshes, crash crunches, and finish-line fanfares that honk with humble heroism. The simplicity might sputter after a session slog, but it’s spot-on for keeping your foot to the floor.

Replayability: A Circuit That Circles Back for More

No story slop, but Excitebike’s got replay revs with the track builder letting you craft cruelty or curves galore, plus time trials and VS mode (if you’ve got a mate’s NES) for endless grudge laps. Chase those sub-minute splits or share your sadistic designs—ace for quick qualifying heats or custom circuit crusades that test your tweaks. It’s snappy enough for pick-up pit stops without pitting out your patience.

The Retro Looney Verdict

Excitebike on the NES is like a chip butty with engine oil: greasy, gutsy, and gloriously gritty, kicking off the racer renaissance with ramps and rivalries that revved the roost. It’s the two-stroke trailblazer that still outpaces the pack. Aye, the crash crumples and turbo tantrums can throttle your thrill, but that’s like moaning your motocross mud’s too mucky. Gear up for a retro ride that’ll leave you whooping like a winner’s whistle.