Punch-Out!!

System: Nintendo Entertainment System
Release date: December 1987

Step into the squared circle with Punch-Out!! on the NES, the December 1987 Nintendo knockout that shrinks Little Mac into a pixel pugilist, dodging dodgy hooks from global goons like Glass Joe and Piston Honda. This boxing bonanza’s all timing, taunts, and Tyson terror (or Mr. Dream’s dodgy double)—but does it still pack a punch in 2025? Let’s wrap the hands, boot up the NES, and see if this glove game is a title bout belter or a TKO tumble.

Gameplay: Jab, Dodge, and Uppercut Like a Mini Mike

Punch-Out!! slings you as plucky Little Mac, facing 14 rounds of rogues in one-on-one ring romps, learning tells like Von Kaiser’s wind-up or Bald Bull’s bull charge to land haymakers and hearts. The controls are a corker—D-pad for dodges, A/B for light/heavy punches—that make every counter feel like a comeback kid’s dream. Train with Doc Louis for stamina boosts, earn points for flair finishes, and climb the WVBA ranks to that final freight-train frenzy. It’s pattern-parsing pugilism with a side of smug satisfaction.

The counter punch? Later lads like Super Macho Man crank the cheese with unblockable flurries that’ll have you yelling “Not fair, ref!” at the telly, and the password system’s a faff for mid-fight saves. No two-player means solo shadow-boxing, and those ear-biting endings? A right royal rinse. Still, the rhythm of read-dodge-pummel keeps you hooked like a left hook to the nostalgia glands.

Graphics: Pixelated Punches That Pop the Crowd

Punch-Out!! looks a right rabble-rouser on the NES, with close-up sprites that capture every sweat bead and sneer—Glass Joe’s wobbly stance or King Hippo’s belly flop flop with comical clarity. The ring ropes sway, crowds cheer in chunky crowds, and between-round cutaways add that arcade authenticity. It’s no graphical gloves-off, but the limited palette punches above its weight with expressive animations that make every KO a cartoon corker.

Sound: Ring-Side Rumbles That Rally the Roar

Punchy thwacks for jabs and crowd whoops that swell like a Wembley wave, punctuated by Doc’s cheesy “You’re sweeter than a chocolate bar!” pep talks. The looping fight fanfare builds tension without tiring, while victory jingles jangle like loose change in a champ’s pocket. The effects might grate after a grudge match marathon, but they amp the arena vibe like a live Sky Box office.

Replayability: A Bout That Begs for Rematches

Punch-Out!!’s got replay ropes with password skips for targeted takedowns, high-score hooks, and the urge to perfect your one-punch wonders on every eccentric enemy. Crank the difficulty or hunt those star punches for flair points—ace for quick three-rounders or full-card crusades that test your timing. It’s compact enough for pick-up punches without pulling its weight in filler.

The Retro Looney Verdict

Punch-Out!! on the NES is like a chip butty with extra mustard: sharp, satisfying, and stupidly moreish, turning button-bashing into a boxing ballet that belted the belts. It’s the pugilistic pioneer that still spars with the best. Aye, the cheap shots and password palaver can bruise your buzz, but that’s like moaning your ringside seat’s got splinters. Swing in for a retro rumble that’ll leave you shadow-jabbing the sofa.