System: Mega Drive
Release date: November 1991

Oi, funkadelic explorers! Blast off for a random-planet romp with ToeJam & Earl on the Mega Drive, the November 1991 Sega sidesplitter that drops two rapping aliens into a chaotic Earth full of boogeymen and bizarre bounties. This roguelike lark mixes exploration, loot, and co-op lunacy—but does it still groove in 2025? Let’s snag the D-pad, boot up the Mega Drive, and see if this funky fiasco is a cosmic cracker or a crashed saucer.

Gameplay: Funk, Explore, and Dodge the Weirdos

ToeJam & Earl crash-lands you as the cool-cat duo—horned ToeJam or bespectacled Earl—scrambling across ten randomly generated floors of a vertical Earth to collect ship parts and hitch a ride home. The controls are a doddle, with smooth strutting, present-wrapping for secret goodies, and funky dances to dodge Earth’s weirdos like killer tomatoes or Santa’s rabid reindeer. Nab food for health, ID cards for elevators, and wild presents (buckets of chicken? Why not!), while co-op lets a mate join the jam for double the daftness. It’s pure procedural pandemonium with a side of strategy.

The saucer splutter? Randomness can royally rinse you—one dodgy floor and you’re back to square one, with tough bosses and scarce ship bits testing your temper. The lack of a map means you’re forever lost like a tourist in Luton. Still, the bonkers encounters and loot lottery keep you giggling and grooving like you’ve nicked the last hula hoop.

Graphics: Funky Pixels with Alien Flair

ToeJam & Earl looks a riot on the Mega Drive, with chunky sprites that ooze ’90s charm—ToeJam’s gold chains glinting, Earl’s specs fogging up in panic. Floors burst with variety, from suburban streets to snowy peaks, crammed with loopy enemies like the Hula Girl or Hamster on a Stick. Animations are a hoot, with wobbly walks and explosive present reveals adding slapstick sparkle. It’s no graphical goliath, but the colourful chaos and alien attitude make every level a visual vibe.

Sound: Funky Beats That Slap

The soundtrack’s a funky feast, slinging hip-hop hooks and groovy basslines that soundtrack your saucer scramble like a mobile mixtape. From the title jam to elevator muzak parodies, it’s ear-candy central. Sound effects nail the nonsense—boings for bounces, zaps for zappers, and enemy yowls that’ll have you chuckling. The loops might loop-de-loop into annoyance after hours, but they’re infectious enough to get you rapping along mid-mayhem.

Replayability: Random Islands, Endless Jams

With procedural floors, secret stashes, and co-op capers, ToeJam & Earl ’s got legs longer than a conga line—every playthrough’s a fresh funk-fest, chasing that perfect ship hunt or high-score hoedown. Unlock harder modes or hunt hidden heroes for extra kicks, though the grindy restarts might have solo players swearing off stairs. It’s ace for quick dips or matey marathons, keeping the alien antics alive like a never-ending party.

The Retro Looney Verdict

ToeJam & Earl on the Mega Drive is like a cosmic chip butty with extra sauce: weird, wonderful, and wickedly addictive. It’s a roguelike riot wrapped in rap and randomness that still tickles the retro ribs. Aye, the random rinses and maze-like muddles can cramp your style, but that’s like moaning your disco ball’s got a flat spot. Dive in for a dose of daftness that’ll leave you humming and high-fiving.