System: 3DO
Release date: March 1994

Wield your mighty sword against a slobbering swarm with The Horde on the 3DO, the March 1994 action-strategy hybrid from Toys for Bob that blends tower defense with hack-and-slash frenzy. As bumbling hero Chauncey, you’ll build villages and bash hordlings to save the kingdom—but does it still devour the competition in 2025? Let’s swing Grimthwacker and see if this monstrous mashup is a devouring delight or a beastly bore.

Gameplay: Build, Bash, and Banish

The Horde splits into strategy and action modes: first, place villagers, farms, and defenses with gold from the king, then switch to Chauncey for a frantic defense against waves of ravenous hordlings. The controls handle it ace—point-and-click building in overhead view, then fluid sword swings, spells, and item tosses in real-time combat. Each of the 20 stages ramps up with new hordling types, terrain hazards, and side quests, like luring monsters with cheese or summoning dragons.

The swarm? The strategy phase can feel rushed, and combat demands pixel-perfect timing amid chaotic swarms. The infamous save bug (erasing other files) is a relic nightmare, and later levels test your sanity with endless hordes. Still, the addictive build-fight loop and clever power-ups keep you slashing like a maniac at a buffet.

Graphics: Monstrous Pixels with Bite

The Horde delivers smooth-scrolling battlefields packed with detail—from quaint villages to fiery wastelands. Chauncey’s lanky sprite cartwheels and cleaves with hilarious flair, while hordlings—slimy goblins to flying fiends—swarm in vibrant, grotesque glory. FMV cutscenes add cheesy charm, with over-the-top propaganda clips stealing the show. The colourful chaos and fluid animations make every massacre a visual feast.

Sound: Grunts and Groans That Gobble

A quirky soundtrack of medieval chiptunes laced with rock riffs shifts from jaunty village vibes to pounding battle anthems. Sound effects are a riot—hordling slurps, sword schwings, and villager screams—punctuated by that award-winning score. The FMV voice acting, with its hammy accents and monster mumbles, adds absurd humour. Repetition sneaks in during marathons, but the audio’s got enough bite to keep you grinning through the gore.

Replayability: Waves of Replayable Mayhem

With 20 stages, multiple difficulty levels, and branching strategies—like trap placements or spell combos—The Horde hungers for replays to optimise saves or unlock secrets. High-score chases and the urge to perfect your village layout fuel endless runs, though the linear campaign limits variety. No multiplayer, but the short bursts suit quick sessions or horde-hating binges, making every return a fresh feast of frustration and fun.

The Retro Looney Verdict

The Horde on the 3DO is a bonkers, brilliant beast that mashes strategy and action into a hordling-hacking hoot. Its clever mechanics, vibrant visuals, and zany audio shine, even if the brutal difficulty and quirky bugs nibble at the edges.